Now I can allow myself to find the right person.” This might sound like a small difference, but just allowing ourselves to take on this more correct understanding of what has happened can free us to move forward. We can now say more easily, “Although I’m hurt right now, this person wasn’t right for me. It’s a much more manageable type of pain. But by grieving only for your disappointment and dashed expectations, you allow yourself to remain open to the next guy who comes along. I don’t mean to minimize the amount it hurts. And if you look at it this way-that in some regard, he failed to live up to your values and standards, so how could he have been your soul mate?-the pain is likely to be less severe. Heres a book dedicated to telling you what you CAN do. Consider this: the pain doesn’t come from losing your soul mate, but from the disappointment that this guy wasn’t your soul mate. Most dating books tell you what NOT to do.
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